One of the very best ways that I have found to make daily life easier, lighter, more positive and less stressful is to learn how to not make mountains out of molehills.
To learn how to not add extra drama or overanalyze or overthink things. To not
create problems where there are none or there are simply very small issues you
can fix.
Learning this has helped me to have fewer problems and worries in my work. And
in my relationships. It also made my dating life more effortless and fun when I
used to be single.
So I’d like to share the most effective ways that I have learned to do this.
And at the end of this newsletter I’ll also share what I have spent most of my time
with lately.
Quickly stop and reexamine your thoughts.
When I am starting to make a mountain out of a molehill and I am starting to
sweat the small stuff then I usually use a stop-phrase. As a big problem is starting to form in my thoughts I say in my mind: Hold on now… This makes me pause and reflect on those negative thoughts that are starting to form.
I follow that up with asking myself these three questions to open my mind up and to reframe my thoughts.
Question #1: Who cares?
This one is simple and sharp and helps me to let go of small stuff. The stuff that
doesn’t really matter in a relationship. An overly angry and attacking email I
might get. Some nitpicking or unnecessary polishing on a task perhaps.
It helps me to realign with the smarter perspective where I just have time and
energy for the most important things in life. It helps me to be cool about stuff
instead of overreacting and wasting a chunk of my life.
Question #2: Will this matter 5 years from now? Or even 5 weeks from
now?
This one is really powerful. It can make just about any difficulty seem pretty
trivial and not as heavy as you might have imagined for the past few hours, days
or weeks.
It is a question that has helped me many times to see an issue for how it really is
and for how big it truly is. This sobering perspective makes it easy to start
thinking more clearly again and to find a small step you can take today to move
forward and to solve the issue.
Question #3: Does anyone on the planet have it worse than me right
now?
This is one of quickest ways to stop feeling sorry for yourself in one of these
mountain-building situations and to start feeling grateful for everything you still
got.
By using this question and in my mind seeing how other people live and the issues
they face my own narrow and self-centered perspective widens and becomes
more positive and action-oriented.
Just by using these three questions I can usually deflate most self-made
mountains in my mind and see a more helpful view of my life again.
If not, or if it just works partially, then I move on to the next step…
Talk it out with someone.
By talking to someone about the “big” problem in your mind and by letting it out
into the light it becomes a lot easier to see the issue for what it really is.
Sometimes just venting to someone for a few minutes makes a huge difference and
after a while you may start wondering what you were so worried or pessimistic
about in the first place.
And at other times the person you are talking to can help you to find a more
helpful and practical perspective by sharing his or her view and experiences in this
area of life.
Replace the added drama with something more fun like hooping!.
By making a firm decision to not add extra drama to your life to spice it up or to
make it more exciting and instead making a choice to replace it with more
interesting and fun stuff you can make life simpler.
How do you do that though?
One way is to get more of a life. To add more exciting, fun, interesting or fulfilling
activities to your schedule and life.
By doing so you’ll have less time and energy to spare in your days and week to
spend on making mountains out of molehills and creating drama. And you’ll have
less need for that old drama-creating habit too because you are now making your
life more interesting in another and healthier way.
Have an awesome day! And of course keep hooping!